There’s this fun game we play when we drink some cheap wine on Friday nights, peruse through old US Magazines and blurt out the first thing we think of when we see a picture. It’s a lot of fun when you have no life like us, that is, until we realize we’ve gone through a couple boxes of wine (yes boxes, we’re in a recession), and instead of talking shit about celebrities in US Magazine, we’re now at a Wal-Mart parking lot playing the game with people that walk by. And that’s on a good night.
So in order to stay out of trouble, we’re just going to lay off the wine, steal a case of Pabsts Blue Ribbon from a hipster (yes steal, because of the aforementioned recession and yes a hipster because they deserve it) and do the First Impressions game right here on the internet with you guys!
We think Ginnifer Goodwin’s head used to be our boyfriend in 6th grade. It went by the name of Ray back then.
How much do you want to bet that Miley’s new engagement ring already smells like pickles and Spam?
Winnie Cooper is getting a divorce, which is sad but much more tragic they have a 2 year old son ….. named DRACO … on purpose. Oh Winnie, what did Kevin Arnold do to you??!
It’s all good until you meander down to the bottom half. Why do we get uncomfortable looking at his belly button? Because it looks like a 70’s pornstar’s vagina would be the correct answer.
George Clooney is starting to look like a papaw – we’d still hit it though and then give him some Ensure afterwards because we’re very thoughtful lovers.
I guess it’s better to look like a papaw than a mamaw. Adam Corolla could easily be the long lost cast member of Golden Girls.
When your cheekbones can be described as ‘sinewy,’ it’s time to start eating actual food.
You know the economy is bad when John Travolta ditches his wigs and sprays Flex Seal on his head. He’s kind of looks Spock … if Spock was a sexual predator. When he flashes that split finger salute, quickly cover all your holes because you can bet those fingers are going somewhere.
Kristen’s face always looks the same (sour and fermented) but her dress looks like the show Saved By The Bell puked all over it – and surprisingly, it’s an improvement! Bravo Kristen!