What’s that you say? You don’t know who Bob Ross is?
SPEAK UP sonny, I can’t hear you. You’re talking to an oldish person here!
So if you’re a young whipper snapper that’s not a hipster, you probably don’t know or only have a vague recollection of who Bob Ross is. Long story short, he’s a guy with a one of a kind afro that could paint the crap out of majestic landscapes and make them even more majestic! His voice was like a soothing cup of cocoa on a cold winter’s day. It just seeped into your ears and gave your soul a warm hug. Bob Ross was famous for his PBS show, called Joy of Painting. Where he would whisk different paints around with a myriad of brushes and magically create something from nothing. He was an art God who tried his very best to teach normal peasants, like myself, how to paint like a God.
But most of us, (present party included), never even attempted to paint. You merely sat there in awe, drinking in his silky smooth voice, his perfectly coifed puff of hair and watched as he made an amazing painting materialize in a half an hour! He made it look easy! And if you’ve ever attempted to paint like Bob Ross, you know THAT shit ain’t easy. But nobody I knew who watched the show actually busted out their paint supplies and painted with him. Most people just liked to see and hear him do it. Bob Ross was a unique human being who left this planet too soon and we are now left only with reruns of his show on YouTube.
Although Bob Ross would be sorely disappointed in my artistic skills, he would be even more disappointed in the fact that he was the inspiration for my new Youtube Channel called OOO! Shiny! Where I attempt to capture the magic of art and storytelling in such a way that would probably make his perky perm flatten in defeat.
OOO! Shiny! is your channel if you like your art tutorial delivered in a storytelling fashion just like Bob Ross! But unlike Bob Ross, the storytelling is not of magical trees and of other worlds we can escape to, delivered in a ultra cool radio voice. Nay. OOO! Shiny! storytelling is that of embarrassing moments, confessions of having shat oneself in public when one thought it was only a fart, or that one time a woman in a bikini took her leg off in front of me, with no warning, before jumping into the pool, searing the image into my brain for all of eternity. These stories are delivered to you in a slightly whiny, albeit mannish voice of a woman who sorta kinda slips into valley girl talk of the 80s, with words like “awesome,” “rad” or “bitchin.” All the while making okay-ish art that’s as laughable as the stories.
So no, I am no art God but here’s the kicker – I’m so bad at this, that when you do it – it’ll be so much better than mine that it will be MAGICAL and YOU’LL feel like an art GOD. Just like Bob Ross!
And just like Bob Ross’ show, even if you want to sit back and watch – you can! But this time, instead of watching an amazing artist in awe, you’ll be watching a middle aged woman avoiding her adult responsibilities in the most foolish way possible and hopefully laughing at her the entire time. And please, laugh it up my friends because the more you keep watching, the more videos I’ll make and the more I can continue to avoid doing actual adult stuff.
It’s sorta like having a front row seat to the weirdest mid-life crisis ever. This is a win/win for both of us. Trust. So yeah, come to think of it…this show is nothing like Bob Ross at all. But watch and hit that subscribe button anyway and enjoy the ride.