If you’re like us, you probably don’t watch Rugby let alone know how the game even works. It looks kind of like American football, minus the football pads, some teeth and any semblance of order. It’s just muscular guys throwing a misshapen throw pillow to each other and rolling around in the mud together with tight shorts on right?
Wait. Why haven’t we been watching Rugby ALL ALONG!?!
So with that, we set forth to educate ourselves on the great sport that is Rugby and sadly, learned almost nothing except that RUGBY GUYS ARE HOT AF. What else do we really need to learn outside of that fact?
So come, sit down and learn how to pretend to admire the sport of Rugby while secretly admiring tight butts and stuff.
Step 1: Shout out Rugby terminology as much as you can.
(Example: “Sweet Mother of Scrum!”)
Step 2: Pretend to be interested. while continuing to use Rugby terminology as incorrectly as you can.
(Example: “That’s what the ruck I’m talking about!” )
Step 3: *Stare creepily while eating nachos slowly.*
Step 4: Ignore people who begin to accuse you of not knowing the game. Continue to stare creepily.
Step 5: Say “Lineout” as seductively as you can. Wag tongue at t.v.
Step 6: Start speaking in tongues.
Step 7: If you hear someone say “maul” say, “Hells ya I would!! AmIright?!?!” Search for high fives.
Step 8: Keep saying, “I loooove Rugby” until it scares the people around you.
Step 9: No one believes you’re a Rugby fan. Gawk shamelessly.
Step 10: Buy tickets to see Rugby live. Collect restraining orders from the players.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE OFFICIALLY A RUGBY FAN!
(Sort of…Now go wipe that drool off your face.)