Oh hello there. We’ve been waiting for you because omgosh you guys we found so much crap on the internet since we last met. And as much as we want to show you every disturbing thing our eyeballs will never unsee, we realize that unlike us, you have a life. You can’t be on the internet while you’re doing work! What kind of slacker even does that right? (psst! You can be any person you believe to be, so let’s take a moment and pretend we’ve never sat on the toilet an hour longer than we had to because we’re too busy taking the Buzzfeed Quiz: Which Uncircumcised Celebrity Are You?)

We wasted our time before you wasted yours. Aren’t we nice? We expect to have a nice Christmas present from you this year (cough! Paypal donation! Cough! or donuts… we’ll take donuts.)

 

THE CREEPY:

As much as we try to avoid it, on occasion we pop over to PerezHilton once in a while to take a peek at everything that’s ugly about Hollywood and being ‘internet famous.’ And sometimes … SOMETIMES .. we find a pretty good story under all those Bennifer updates… or whatever you kids call pretentious ego maniacs in love nowadays. (KimYe?)

Perez posted a video about a ghost seen at a soccer game. A shadowy, hunched back figure running THROUGH people because ..well, even apparitions from the afterlife aren’t immune to bad stadium nachos. Some say it was a shadow of a person but still doesn’t explain it’s quick speed, another article stated that it was a person who had entered the stadium with no tickets and it was video of him running away from the police, which again, doesn’t explain the speed or the fact that it ran through all those people and stepped not on one toe, bumped zero shoulders and knees. Watch for yourself, the FANTASMA Y FUUUTBALL!! (we got a D in Spanish class btw.)

 

 

THE COOL: 

Who doesn’t love a good love story? No one doesn’t ….not..love…that’s who! …uh – you know what we’re saying.  Well settle in for the loves story of all love stories  about Shirley and Moe.  Shirley says they didn’t talk about getting married, they just KNEW they were getting married. “It was a meeting of the souls” – Oh em gee. The feels. May we all have something as sacred as they had in our lives.

 

THE INTERESTING:

We know we made fun of Buzzfeed for their endless random quizzes that we ALWAYS take no matter how ridiculous.  We did actually find one that was semi interesting that uses psychology voodoo to reveal how sick we are in the head.  13 Questions that Buzzfeed ‘claims’ will tell you everything you need to know about yourself.  So if you want to find out that you’re secretly a Furry who’s interested in a ‘docking’ partner THIS would be the quiz you take.  Okay so it doesn’t get that specific but still…very interesting. (and if you didn’t know what all that ‘Furry’ or ‘docking’ business meant, then you are better than the internet.  Get out now while you’re still untarnished.

THE FUNNY: 

Sometimes, creativity is born when boredom rears its ugly head.  A great example of that is this dude who made his morning commute and our Facebook/Reddit feeds a lot more interesting. Thank you random bored on a train guy!