SO WHAT’S THE HAPS?

The only thing Stevie loved more than the seashore was sailing and speedos and on this day, Stevie was going to be on the seashore! wearing a speedo! while sailing!  It was Stevie’s trifecta of an awesome day.  He couldn’t believe the guys he met at the bar last night invited him to go today.  Sure, they were kind of drunk and puked all over his plate of buffalo wings and it kind of struck him as odd that they invited  him to go to the seashore even though they were in Oklahoma.  But Steve resolved to be more positive in 2013 so he shoved those negative thoughts aside.  If they said they went sailing all the time, who was Stevie to doubt them?  They even told him exactly where to wait and to wear his favorite speedo.  And oh what a speedo it is!  Custom made from old biker shorts and a doilies.  (You can find anything on Etsy).  It hugged up to his form like a clingy lover.  A perfect uniform for a busy day of sailing!

But as the clock ticks on, Steve realizes he’s been sitting on this old boat for an hour and none of the guys have shown up.  And even though Steve wasn’t trying to let any negative thoughts ruin his day, the rusty holes on the floor of this boat and the fact that there’s no sail was making him doubt his seashore sailing trip was going to happen.

Poor Stevie.  His perfect day hasn’t been so perfect after all.  Tricked into thinking he’d be sailing on the seashore but instead here he was, a sad Stevie, silently sulking in his speedos, sobbing quietly on the inside.   But wait… what’s this? A car has stopped and a man is flagging him down and wants to talk to him!  What’s that? Stevie says… you’ll take me sailing if I play around with your schooner? DEAL! Stevie was going to have a fun sailing day after all!

Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to dig up some bail for poor stupid Stevie who just unknowingly became a roadside prostitute.

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