Of course we have the hots for David Beckham. If you don’t have the hots for this:
Then it is urgent that you poke around your genital area and check for signs of life because unless it has dried up and fallen off, then you can’t help but stare a little longer at David Beckham than your everyday average dude.
So yesterday, a few pictures from his upcoming H&M Christmas ad was all over the internet and of course, we were all Smoky and Craig, like, “DAAAAAMMMNNN!“
But afterwards, when we were done salivating all over ourselves, we started to get the sense that something wasn’t …. quite right with David in these pictures. What could it be?
Maybe it was bad lighting? No, not possible. Did he get a new tattoo? No. All tattoos the same and accounted for. Wait, was his package still as appetizing?
Hmmm, looks okay, but just in case, let’s check again….
Yes. Yes.. it’s still a delicious package.
And then, we saw it. The something that’s throwing an electrical glitch into his normally piping hot plate …
The Civil War, Musket Totin’ Soldier ‘stach…..
What’s going on here? I’m sure that is a nice accessory for Victoria Beckham to take a ride on (bitch) but being that we’re all NOT Victoria Beckham (as in we don’t get our daily nutrients from Botox injections) we can only appreciate David Beckham via pictures and video and sorry David, we like you better when there’s not a Civil War reenactment going on in your face.
David Beckham? Civil War hero? David Beckham? Civil War Hero? Twins??
So please, rejoin us in 2012 and ditch the confederacy David. That being said, we still love you so much that we’re going to go ahead and forgive you for now and power our way through this backstage video of your half-naked photo shoot with H & M.