If you haven’t seen FEAR, then we can safely say that the bald man in your lady canoe hasn’t really lived. (Yeah we reached for that metaphor, save your eye roll) FEAR is about a young girl (Reese Witherspoon) who meets a ridiculously hot dude (Mark Wahlberg) who ends up being a little cray cray in the head. And we realize that this was supposed to be a thriller slash public safety announcement for sweet young girls to be on guard when you first meet strange guys at a rave, but the flaw in this message is they picked Mark Wahlberg to play the crazy guy.

When they first met, he looked like this:

 When they first did it, he looked like this:

And then there was that roller coaster scene…

And we’re positive we all looked like this when we watched it:

So by the time he released the bag of batshit crazy …

We were like… ah well, no one’s perfect right?

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