We finally gave in and began reading 50 Shades of Grey because we had the opportunity to borrow it from someone (we’re not actually going to buy it because we’re cheap).  Despite the rave reviews from women’s crotches everywhere, we have to say the writing is giving us a mild headache.  It’s part telling a story and part telling you 60 billion times that the main character’s name is Anastasia or Ana.   Here’s some excerpts from the book….

“Oh Anastasia, you don’t want none of these churros..”

“Why Ana, I didn’t know you were into donkeys…”

“Anastasia! Where were you? Not fisting the lesbian neighbor again I hope!” 

So yeah, maybe those aren’t really excerpts from the book but take our word for it, if you threw them in there, no one would question it because it would fit right in.

Okay. we’re digressing a tad since this isn’t really a book review because we haven’t even finished it.  This is more about the buzz around Hollywood about possibly turning this book into a movie and we think that’s a grand idea. In fact, this might be one of the few times that a movie can easily better the book.  Of course, the big question is who would play the book’s namesake, Christian Grey.  What actor can bring this two-dimensional character some life?

Well casting directors we did all the hard work for you. Allow us to present to you Mr. Kellan Lutz and the reasons why he would be PERFECT for the role of Christian Grey.

1. Christian Grey is young and has a good body.  Kellan Lutz is also young and as far as his body goes ……CHECK!

2. Christian Grey is a CEO of a company and looks impeccable in a suit. Ditto Kellan Lutz:

3. Christian Grey also looks pulled together when he’s in casual wear, manly yet fashionable. A combo that’s hard for guys to pull off without looking like Ryan Seacrest, but Kellan does quite easily …

4. But wait a minute, Shedens! Christian Grey has dark hair! Um, hello ….Kellan Lutz can have dark hair too and still look yums.

4. For some inexplicable reason, Christian Grey is always messing with his lower lip in this book and it looks like Kellan Lutz has got this odd maneuver down pat…

5. Christian Grey can be sweet and vulnerable…

6. But mostly he’s dark, kind of mean, a lot controlling and of course, into S&M …

Just picture the small alligator with a ball gag. Perfect right??

7. 50 shades of Grey is going to have a lot of sex scenes which means it would be a CRIME to nature and to all womankind NOT to cast Kellan Lutz.

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