Making a “better” grilled cheese? Are those words even allowed to go together? How can you possibly make the delicious simplicity of grilled butter, bread and cheese even more wonderful? It sounds impossible, but it’s not. While we agree that grilled cheese is fantastic on its own; we also think that, much like a good looking guy, we wouldn’t be horribly offended if he wanted to kink it up a notch by cleaning our house donned only in leather chaps and nipple clamps. (what? Just us? Wow. Awkward.)
Here are seven delicious ways to add some chaps and nipple clamps to your beautiful grilled cheese sandwich. Metaphorically speaking of course because nipple clamps lose their flavor when you grill them.
We know you love your grilled cheese and we also know that your grilled cheese loves you. Lately however, with both of you leading such a busy schedule, things between you are kind of ordinary and somewhat boring. There’s no need to break from each other; it’s just time to add a little spice into the relationship!
Instead of American cheese, use half Fontina cheese and half Monterey jack. Then layer some thin strips of cooked chorizo, grill it up into melted awesomeness and wala! Holy spicy tongue burn, you’ve got yourself one hot grilled cheese! So hot that if this grilled cheese turned into a person, it would be someone you’d want to poke on Facebook amongst other places.
If you want a backyard BBQ cheese fest happening in your pie hole right now, it’s really easy to do. Take some BBQ beef or pork, throw in some chopped onions or chiles, add a slice of American cheese into the mix, grill and eat em’ up cowboy!
Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde (smooth and nutty)
Sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don’t, but little did you know that grilled cheese sandwiches like to be both!
And an excellent way to add some delicious flavors and crunch to your sandwich is to use brie as your cheese and throw in some cooked pear slices. Once it’s grilled, dip the cheesy sides into chopped nuts (walnuts or almonds) and eat. Then look at yourself in the mirror and take a mental picture of what pure joy looks like. Let’s hope it’s not as disturbing as your “O” face.
The Naughty Trucker
Even though the words ‘naughty trucker’ and ‘cheese’ sounds like the result of making a bad decision at a border town truck stop, we promise this naughty trucker isn’t involved with anything that has to do with getting unspeakable favors from a questionable person for ten bucks.
This naughty trucker consists of buttered country white bread with some ranch dressing. For the filling, layer cheddar, roasted turkey and caramelized onions, grill and then put on your giant trucker hat and eat. Although we don’t’ recommend looking in the mirror for this one, just in case you find out that you look more like a bargain bin Ashton Kutcher in a trucker hat than an actual trucker. That’s always a buzz kill.
Fancy Schmancy with Your Pinky Up
A grilled cheese really likes to get out of its casual garb every once in a while and get its classy swag on for a night out on your taste buds. Put some elegance into your grilled cheese by using pumpernickel bread and then rubbing it with a garlic clove. For the cheese, use half Swiss and half gruyere (Go ahead, Google it. We’ll wait.) Add some plum tomatoes, grill and don’t forget to take a giant bite with your pinky up, fancy pants.
Even though having a vacation in your mouth sounds like it would be humid and somewhat of an isolated place to be taking a vacation, when it comes to grilled cheese, a vacation in your mouth is a great, all inclusive resort, hula girls ‘leing’ you type of vacation that you’re sure to enjoy!
Prepare for your trip by using brioche for bread, use pepper jack for the cheese, layer in some sliced mango, grill it and then bon voyage! It’s a vacation in your mouth that you’ll wish would never end.
Grilled cheese doesn’t exactly top the list when it comes to health foods. In fact, a simple grilled cheese sandwich is almost 400 calories. How do you turn that negative into a positive? By deleting the calorie counter app off your phone, laughing heartily at the 400 calories and try to double it!
Set adrift to cheese and sweet bacon bliss by spreading cream cheese on sourdough bread. Swap in half grated gruyere and half grated gouda for the American cheese. Sprinkle bacon with brown sugar, bake until cooked through and layer on top of the cheese, grill your sandwich, eat and don’t forget to oink with glee between bites.
Click here for even more ways to take your grilled cheese to the next level of delicious.
Written by Elaine Chaney – who hopes you make one of these sandwiches and send it to her because she can’t cook for shit.